We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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