DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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