I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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