DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize