i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
