four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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