Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
