can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
