I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
