I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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