considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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