I think scott just propositioned me for sex
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Randomize
