There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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