WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
