She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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