I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
My dick has a subreddit
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
