return my video game
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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