Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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