I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Me. At least after what I've been through.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I wish you could order shots online.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Randomize
