I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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