Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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