I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
