Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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