he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
