Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Randomize
