Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
