it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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