i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
