is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
