thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
