Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Randomize
