hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
