There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
vagina is talking i cant
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
