Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
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