It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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