the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
