I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
He felt like a one man threesome
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
