ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
