yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
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