There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
