its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
