I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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