So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Never underestimate the power of titties
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
