me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
