I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
