you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize