i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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