My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
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