That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
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he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
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So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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