At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
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