I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
