I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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