I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
