We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
