i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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