gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
